Four Stars
by theresnomeaning
Summary: As Harry finally goes home, there's a fourth star he never considered.


**First I'd like to wish you a Happy New Year!**

**This little ficlet is deeply inspired in the song "Kevin's Telescope" by The Gathering. The lyrics are very cute IMO. The lyrics' parts through the text are from said song. I recommend that you listen to the song while reading, but it is not mandatory.**

**Warnings: character death. Almost completely DH-compliant except that Harry dies.**

**Four Stars**

Harry was eight years old and he couldn't remember a single time when he was loved. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon loved Dudley very much and he often asked himself why they couldn't love him. Innocently, he always thought that he was a bad boy, that he didn't deserve to be loved and cherished, especially because of the _things _that used to happen around him. Bad, weird things.

And that was why he never got new clothes - all the ones he had were too big, cast offs of his cousin, Dudley, who was much bigger than him and therefore the clothes never fit. And that was why he never got kisses on his forehead or hugs. And that was why he was never praised. And that was why there was a tiny spot on his heart that hurt.

When he asked about his parents, Aunt Petunia told him that they were two drunks, good for nothing that got themselves killed in a car crash. And then she told him to never ask stupid questions again.

Regardless that his parents were two drunks, he wanted them all the same. Harry was sure that they would have loved him.

In that year, Dudley got a telescope at his birthday. He didn't use it too much, it seemed that Harry's cousin wasn't exactly fond of that gift, preferring always his video games.

Harry knew what a telescope was, he'd learned at school, and he wanted nothing more than use it. Near the Dursley's residence there was a park. The little boy used to seat at the swings and look at the stars, and although his eyesight was bad and the stars looked a bit blurred, it was the most beautiful thing to contemplate.

_His hands hide inside a sleeve_

_And little feet play with the ground beneath him_

_While up in the sky is where he wants to be_

_Where he wants to be_

The Dursleys went on a trip to America and left Harry alone. And that was when he first used the telescope. It was amazing, he could see the stars much closer, and without that blur. He found two stars that were very, very close. He liked to think that those stars were his parents. They were beautiful. Something inside Harry used to feel warm whenever he looked at those two stars. Some part of his harsh reality could be eased.

_Time will fly_

_And the wind plays with him_

_The night will give him its charm_

Fifteen years old Harry stared at the sky. He wanted to see another star. Sirius, who even had the name of a star - Sirius B., he most brilliant star at night.

God, it hurt so much to lose him. It hurt even more because Harry blamed himself. If he hadn't been such a fool to fall on Voldemort's trap he would be still alive.

Because everything he touched became sullen.

His parents died because Voldemort was after him.

Quirrell died literally for touching Harry, who couldn't ever stop to think that the DADA professor perhaps hadn't really wanted to kill him.

Cedric died because Harry told him to take the cup.

And now Sirius.

Sirius didn't deserve to die, but perhaps Harry deserved to be ripped of the little family he had...

The stars were safe, the stars couldn't be touched by him. All the darkness on his life could not threaten their shine. It was comforting, even. And it was constant, always there to ease his pain, to feed his childish illusions

_While he walks home_

_His head's up in a cloud_

_He feels his pores fill up with fresh air_

_And there is no doubt_

_That someday he will be_

_Where the eyes of his telescope_

_Has already been_

It was finished. Finally he had defeated Voldemort.

At his life's price, though.

Harry didn't know what was that curse that the monster had casted. He only knew one thing: that he was dying.

The wind blew and the night was beginning to fall. Harry was lying on the floor, and he was alone except for the stars that could be seen faintly, since the sky wasn't completely dark.

He smiled softly. It was done. His task had been fulfilled. He only lamented all the deaths that happened because of him.

Dying was... Peaceful. And safe.

And he was going home. Finally.

_Night will pass_

_But he is a lot faster_

_No one can do him any harm_


End file.
